Have you ever noticed that some people have your immediate respect while others do not? And have you observed that some people have great ideas but nothing happens with them? Do you know people who say they will do something but never do it? Do you say that you’ll do something while you have no intention of doing it? Or do you often say that you’ll do things out of politeness, but know that you never will do them?
When we say that we’ll do something,
we create an expectation in our listeners. If I tell you that I’ll call you at a certain time, I’m setting you up to expect my call. If I say that I’ll call and have no intention to call while saying it, I’m false or too cowardly to tell things straight. I mean well, of course – I want to be polite because I can’t bring myself to tell you that I don’t want to call you…
But if I have no intention of calling, would I not be more polite and respectful if I didn’t say anything if I couldn’t bring myself to say that I wouldn’t call? If I tell you that I’ll call and don’t, I project the image that I’m not trustworthy. You cannot count on my word in future. I’m downgrading the weight of my word and placing myself in the crowd of sheeple who do the same thing. This may seem harsh, but if it describes your familiar habit, this article helps you to see its consequences. I used the example of calling you. Of course, this principle applies no matter what the action be.
What can you do to gain respect?
If you want to be credible and respected, only say that you will do something if you will really do it. Hold your breath and count to 10 before speaking out impulse-driven sentences that others will take as your word of commitment. Make this a rule and follow it. If you have to miss a deadline, communicate a new deadline as soon as possible. This will earn you a lot of respect and trust from everyone.
Details and the big picture
Successful people identify where to place the attention. People often get lost in the details when making decisions and lose sight of the larger stakes. In our context the larger stakes are that if you don’t do what you say you’ll do, you lose respect, trust, credibility.
Options and procedures
When people focus on options, alternatives, and possibilities, they struggle to complete commitments. These folks tend to be very creative, but often do not follow through what they say they will do. If someone prefers a step by step process when he does things, that person is more likely to follow through commitments. Language such as “the next step, then, after that, process, how to get to the end goal” will highly likely indicate that the person is committed to doing what he said he would do. If you want to improve your ability to really do what you say, adopt a procedural mode. An easy way is to schedule in your calendar when you will call someone. And use the calendar to guide you.
Delegate: If you still suck at doing what you said you would do, hire someone and give them the task. Obviously, if your commitment was to call or make love to your partner, delegating this might lead to undesirable consequences. Lol.
The power of commitment contributes to respect
When you say that you’ll do something, you have power! Others trust and respect you. Because when you say it, others don’t yet know whether you will do it. But you get the things you want from life because you did what you said you would. Say only what you’ll do, do it, and achieve what you want every time. Or say that you won’t do something if you don’t want to do it. People will respect and admire your courage to say things straight. We all admire and appreciate honesty and directness from others. That’s a trait of strong characters. Do you want to be one?
If you do, why not start today?
